photo of the oasis gardens

Avoidance doesn’t work

People have more psychological baggage than they usually care to admit. Emotional pain is experienced during childhood and, later, as an adult. Defensive barriers are erected and you try to avoid areas of life that might repeat any painful experience. A childhood sense of adventure soon becomes replaced with the “I can’t, because...” excuses. You learn to cope with disappointment, dumbing down. As the years go by, an overall mediocrity is accepted; there’s a tendency to become comfortably numb and this is normalised.

This dumbing down effect makes achieving a significant breakthrough in human potential harder to achieve. Escaping the normal mindset is easier said than done. A clear appreciation of this is part of any changing process.

Values normally held are ditched if they clash with the defence/escape strategy. It is avoidance at any cost. Excuses hold you back from learning. The old is continually reinforced. Awareness becomes selective or stunted. You hear what you want to hear, and see what you want to see. Anything threatening your “safe” view of life is thereby controlled and usually avoided. Reality is distorted. Evasion develops into being a friend, when it is actually an enemy.

The “I want more” mentality entertains and distracts. There is always something new to desire. The grass looks greener on the other side. All of this helps turn attention away from the bigger picture of what is going wrong in the world and what needs to be done.

Astonishingly, this crucial subject of what is likely to frustrate change is largely ignored by others who claim knowledge of personal development. Psychological avoidance is the biggest elephant in the room of all time.